


A Little Known Ability of Quetzal's

by Tezca



Category: Aztec Religion
Genre: Gen, Humor, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:23:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to send most of the Aztec gods running out of a room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Known Ability of Quetzal's

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired to write this fic after reading an article on mexicolore.co.uk that basically said that skybearing Aztec gods could also turn into Tzitzimime or star demons and Quetzalcoatl was on the list so yeah lol. 
> 
> (Lionel Sweeney is from the 2006 movie Fur.)

Whenever Lionel felt he would either go on the internet and troll various Christian related chatrooms or he would go to the library room of the Aztec pantheon and read various books. Since he already spent half the night before trolling one particular one, thus getting himself banned which it turned out the mods were more tech savvy then he was used too so he couldn’t use another nick, he decided to go read.

He walked into the room and it was practically empty save for Tlaloc on one of the tables who appeared to have fallen asleep and drooling on a novel he had under the warm sunlight coming from the windows. Lionel grabbed a codex and sat at another table, it was one he hasn’t really read again in a long, but one he has been meaning so he opened the book and began reading.

The first ten minutes of reading there wasn’t really anything of particular that jumped out at him, most of the stuff he knew already because he was told or he already found it in various other books about Aztec mythology. It wasn’t until he reached the page showing information about the Tzitzimime that something caught his eyes. It was a part of the page talking about how various sky bearing gods could also turn into one if they wanted too.

One of the names was Quetzalcoatl and needless to say Lionel was surprised as he didn’t remember that being something Quetzal could do. He usually has a good memory off what Quetzal told him he could do. 

“Hey Lion freak what are you so shocked about?” Tezca asked, having walked into the room randomly to the spot next to Lionel, looking at the codex.

Lionel turned to glare at him for the name he called him, almost close to calling him mirror foot but he wasn’t in the mood for having a snarkfest with him, “I’m not shocked, just a little surprised…” He said as he showed Tezca the page he was reading. Tezca leaned over for a closer look, “I’m assuming you knew about this….” 

That was a good guess Lionel had, but even the gods don’t know everything about each other. Tezca then just turned to face him, just staring at him with the same surprised look Lionel had, ‘Actually I never knew this before….this both amuses me and frightens me.” Tezca then gazed back at the codex to read it again.

“Wow theres something that actually frightens the great and powerful Tezcatlipoca…” Tezzy snarked, having overheard the last bit, causing Tezca to glare at him.

“Oh shut up!’ Tezca retorted. Tezzy let out a laugh as he walked up to see what they were reading.

“What are you guys looking at anyways?”

“Something about the star demons, apparently dear Quetzalcoatl could turn into one of the star demons if he wanted to.” Lionel said before Tezca butted in.

“What I don’t get is how the hell did Feather Snakeboy manage to keep this a secret from me for centuries?!”

Lionel shrugged, “Maybe he just didn’t want anyone to know he could?”

“Oh thats bullshit, I’ve been fighting him for millenia and I know every single one of his capabilities! How the hell did I miss this one?” Tezca complained as Tezzy took a look at the page for himself, his eyes widening frightenly as he looked at the other two.

“Wait you mean you’re seriously telling me that Quetzalcoatl can turn into the same star demons that has talons for hands, terrifying snakes penises and can rip you apart limb from limb,in a disemboweled mess with your guts, brain and heart all torn out all over the place and you’re left lying in a pool of your blood in agonizing pain!” Tezzy half shouted to which Lionel calmly nodded yes, confirming his thoughts, “What!?!”

Tezzy shouts didn’t manage to wake to wake up Tlaloc, who just made a half hearted snore, but he did manage to attract the attention of Huitzilopochtli who came barreling in and began yelling..

“Whats this about a star demon? Are they planning on attacking us tonight?”

“Our stupid conniving brother can turn into a star demon…” Tezca answered.

“What?” Huitzil said in disbelief before he walked over to take a look himself, “Oh my fucking Ometeotl….you guys are bloody serious.” 

Lionel nodded as he faced Huitzil while Tezca kept on ranting,“Unbelievable! My brother and I are the one of the oldest gods in the place...how the hell did I not know this….oh I am so going to have a chat with Snakeboy about this! Did you know about this Huitzil?”

“No, I’m just as fucking surprised as you fucking are Tezca.” Huitzil quipped back just as Xipe and a few other gods and goddesses came in to see what the commotion was all about. Pretty soon the whole table was surrounded by almost all of the Aztec pantheon and a unfazed Lionel still sitting down in his chair.

“You know perhaps we should keep this fact away from Quetzal’s son.” Xipe suggested with bad timing as said sun god just came in.

“What fact?” Tona said, standing in the doorway drink his drink full of blood.

“Oh just the fact that your darling little goody two shoes snake loving father can turn into a Tzitzimime…” Tezca said, with a trollish grin and a bit of resentment that Quetzal didn’t make that fact be known to him any earlier.

“Daddy can WHAT?!” Tona yelled as he dropped his glass in the process, spilling blood over the floor.

Meanwhile Tezzy then froze in terror as he noticed Quetzal outside standing on the grass as he looked back at them with a confused look on his face, “Uhh...guys…” Tezzy pointed towards the window and the sound of the resulting stampede of Aztec deities screaming and running out of the room led to Tlaloc waking up and Lionel just letting out an audible sigh and rolling his eyes..

“What happened?”

“They all found out that Quetzalcoatl can turn into a star demon,” Lionel said calmly and the rain god of the Aztec pretty much reacted the same as him, which given the reactions of the others, was a welcoming change.

“Oh, yeah I know about that,” Tlaloc casually said as he walked over and looked at the page, “I was with him the only time he displayed that side of him in front of anyone god or mortal….we were out on the town, Tenochtitlan that is, and nearby he noticed somebody about to hurt a group of young people and he turned into that to scare the guy off. He told me not to tell anyone about him being able to turn into one” Tlaloc explained as Quetzal made his way into the room.

“I have no use to turn into one and frankly I don’t why I have that ability in the first place so I didn’t bother about it...I guess I forgot about it enough to not tell you…”

“Its quite alright dear Quetzalcoatl.” Lionel said with a reassuring smile as he stood up and walked over to give him a kiss.

“I do have one question though,” Quetzal said, facing the two other men, “Did I seriously watch 99% of the pantheon flee in terror?”

Tlaloc just laughs and nodded,”Yep. They are going to be scared of you for a month or two so I would take advantage of it.” 

“No I’m not going to take advantage of that Tlaloc, that sounds like something my immature brother would do.”

“Yeah, but you could though if you wanted to, have them do your bidding or you’ll rip them apart haha…”

“Tlaloc…”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Come on lets all three of us take a break from our childish brethren and go to the movies.” Quetzal suggested to which Lionel and Tlaloc agreed too and soon while everyone else was hiding in closets or under the bed, Quetzal, his husband and Tlaloc were enjoying themselves out in some random city in Canada.


End file.
